On Line Vs. On Body

I had an interesting experience yesterday that somewhat renewed my faith in the fact that "brick and mortar" shops are still a viable entity. Without getting too much into that debate, I'll tell you what happened first; I will be going away this week, to a warm destination and I needed a few things. You know, I need a new this and a new that, and because all I ever do is work, I thought "why not shop online?"

Yesterday at 7am I was clicking and clacking away, looking at bathing suits, tops and jeans, but I was having a hard time picturing myself in anything I saw on the computer. I was also having a hard time coming up with search terms for clothing items. How to you search "when I see it I will know" for cute spring fashions? Needless to say, my hour long internet shopping search turned up nothing...(so not like me)

It was then that I knew a trip to the mall was what I needed. I got into my car and headed to the mall on a rainy Sunday. Two hours later, I emerged somewhat victorious! I had covered two of my three major fashion categories and the third one I will handle today at another store where I can peruse the selections, touch the fabrics and try them on. Wow! Who knew it could be so convenient?

The online vs. brick and mortar shopping debate is one that I know only too well. Soon I will be launching my own online shopping store because I understand that I have to embrace the online shopping experience to keep my business relevant, but I think I just proved to myself that online shopping does not negate the in-store experience. It only enhances it! Yes, online shopping is the wave of the future, but what about when you aren't quite sure what you are looking for? What about inspiration? What about the smell of the leather, the feel of the fabric, the perfect pop of color on your lips or the way it sits perfectly on your shoulders? What about the 'cash and carry' effect? This was a learning experience in more ways than one.

I would be interested in what your shopping habits are when it comes to online and in store. Tell me how you like to shop.

True Love?

Frickety Frack...Don't Talk Back.

My boy...my baby boy, today is a man. 18 years ago, at 9AM he came to greet his mama.

He has my smile, my baby. He has my mind and my compassion for mankind. And for sure, he has my mouth and he knows just how to use it.

Physical prowess, from a very young age was your thing and I marveled at your skill. But it was your determination that was most remarkable. You knew who you were then and you let us know in no uncertain terms. You were a force to be reckoned with. What was it about your shoes? Your slippers? I just laughed and I let you be who you were. I knew better than to squash your spirit.

Ask and you shall receive...it's red and fiery, just like my boy. Today you are a man, but you'll always be my boy. That's more about me than it is about you, so humor me on that, will ya? I think you are most extraordinary. I can't wait till you finally figure that out on your own.

Stay true to who you are, who you have always been because it will be your strength when you need it. The world is your oyster now and I'm not worried about college. We've prepared you plenty, the rest is up to you. I have no doubts about sending this man off. He will be great! Change the world and contribute in your special way and know that life's challenges up to this point were practice for the adulthood you have just entered.

No more Fracky, now BIG Frack, you are the most handsome and loving son in the world. Use your special charm to make others comfortable, and be funny..it is your birthright! You tend to challenge-remember to be wise when you do. Only you can make the decision to be wise or not. I trust you will hear your parent's words in your head when you need them.

Tonite we celebrate you! My Frack!  I wish you a wonderful 18th year of life and I am excited to watch you blossom and grow.

Happy Birthday my son. I love you like crazy birthday cakes, and I wish you the most wonderful day. 

Tragic, Useless And Unbelievable

I was just thinking....
about the tragedy of Jennifer Martel's death.

Who is Jennifer Martel, you ask?
She was the girlfriend of Jared Remy, who Remy stabbed and murdered, while others watched, in the doorway of the Waltham, MA apartment they shared with their 4 year-old daughter last summer. I documented the tragedy when it unfolded HERE.  

A new Boston Globe article by Eric Moskowitz published on Saturday brings this tragedy back into the news, and paints a horrifying and startling picture of violence, entitlement, drug abuse and system abuse.

•  How did this perpetrator get away with his history of violence against women for as long as he did? 
• This monster had years-long rap sheets, ladled with violence, abuse, restraining orders(which he continually violated) and death threats, yet he got off with no more than probation and the promise of therapy and good behavior, then released to his parent's custody time and time again.
• In Moskowitz's piece he clearly states that Remy got off SIX times on charges of violence against women. He then notes that it is unusual for a documented violent offender to get off on charges twice-let alone six times. Remy seems to be the record holder. 

Again, I have to ask how this could have happened? 

And in my backyard! Remy grew up in my town, which is the starting point of his long rap sheet, and continues to the next town over from us-where I would attend criminal court too (If I had to). I know all those cops. Does this mean that I somehow share in the blame? 

Reading this article brings to mind so many emotions. Yes, something certainly was amiss here. Jared father, Jerry Remy is a beloved, hometown Red Sox sports figure, whoes influence in our town was greatly underestimated by us all. That much is evident by Moskowitz's article. I just learned that MY TAX DOLLARS paid for Jared schooling at a local school well known for emotionally troubled teens, because he couldn't make it at our public school. I then read about the intimidation and the chaos he created while he was there, supposedly being "encouraged and nourished" into becoming a contributing member of society. 

Am I pissed off? YES I am, so now I look to blame. I think not only do we blame the system that failed Jennifer, but we blame the entire village here. People I have trusted to educate, protect and serve it turns out are people who were influenced by celebrity and I blame all of them. Yet that won't bring Jennifer Martel back, will it? 

No it won't and there is blood on a lot of hands today. And this time it's not going to be so easy to just wash it away. I say it's about time. 

Are You Kidding Me?

Dear A**holes Out There Driving This Morning,

How freakin hard is it to stop and let a car pass in front of you? Are you so much in a gard damn hurry that you've lost all of your common courtesy? And Holy Hell No, why would you let TWO cars through the line of traffic? I get that everybody is on their way to get to where they need to be, but me and the driver in front of me sat waiting to take a left on a busy street, into the flow of traffic for what seemed like an eternity! I was floored!

The person on the car in front of me must have been pissed too because as he inched closer into oncoming traffic, just to let them know he was there, trying to go left, you all swerved around him like he was an idiot! It was sort of like a game then...with all of you giving him dirty looks and swerving around him like maniacs.

I have to know... how hard is it to let someone go in front of you?? How many seconds out of your precious day will it cost you to be NICE? And a whole line of parading as*hole drivers for minutes on end?? What are the odds of that happening?

Really, I have only to thank you because when we finally did get through traffic, I stopped for every car that I saw on the road today. Every one, and it felt amazing! I took a pleasure in knowing that that tiny gesture of common road courtesy quite possibly got someone to where they needed to be a bit faster, and a lot more pleasant for sure. I took great pride in knowing that I was not the selfish butt hole that you all are.

Thanks for the reminder that a good deed never goes unpunished.
I'm sure all your a**hole friends that were behind me today when I stopped for every car that needed it where pretty pissed too!

xoxo-
Candy

Ghost Writing

So you all know I watch those zany Real Housewives, as I have said before, they are my favorite guilty pleasure. I watch them all. Much to my delight, Real Housewives New York debuted last night and the antics started immediately. Back are almost all of the women (minus LuAnne) and the fireworks begin when Aviva begins talking about her book deal. Aviva was the one housewife everybody had a problem with when we left them last season, so it was amazing to me that she spent the first episode making amends for her bad behavior and then the second episode destroying all that hard work.

But this post is not about that, per se, this post is about what happened when Carole and Aviva engaged in what is now known on social media sites as #bookgate. Quick history: Carole Radziwill is a journalist by trade, and has worked in the news media and magazine world for what she says is 20 years. She calls herself a "writer", claiming "that's what I do" and she has written 2 books, one which reached the New York Time Best Seller List. Aviva Drescher is what one could call a true NY housewife, who according to Carole, "never had a job outside the home". The second season drama is over Aviva's book deal with a publisher and a lunch between Aviva and Carole where the topic of ghost writers came into discussion.

A ghost writer according to Wikipedia " is a writer who writes books, articles, stories, reports, or other texts that are officially credited to another person." 

Sounds interesting, and if you think so, read on. Aviva and Carole discuss the topic of using a ghost writer. Neither claims to have used one, and then things get hairy. The awkward lunch takes a turn for the worst and Carole takes offense at Aviva's intimation that she used a ghost writer on her first book. Aviva then goes on a gossip campaign, telling all of the other Housewives that "her publishing house told her that Carole used a ghost writer on her first book"  A lot of back an forth takes place, but what sticks in my mind is Carole's objection to the whole topic of ghost writing. Carole has a real point here: she is a career journalist. She has built that career working for news organizations, writing for magazines and working in the field as a journalist for many years. Her books stand alone and her pedigree is impeccable, so I stand behind her when she feels that her reputation as a writer is being called into question. She has earned the right to be called a professional in her trade.

Aviva is a housewife of several wealthy men (not at the same time), and now a reality TV star whose personal story of triumph (she had her leg amputated at a young age in a horrific accident)  is inspirational at best. She was well educated an evidently academic enough to score a book deal with a professional publishing house.

What's the problem ladies? OK, I understand Carole's objection to Aviva telling the entire WORLD on TV that Carole used a ghost writer when she didn't. According to me 'dems is fighting words, and its dirty pool when you try to discredit someone's career. But Carole is not without fault. Because Aviva is not a "journalist" it's not to say she can't become a "writer" and that the idea that she could sit down and write a draft for a book on her own absurd.

Here's what I mean: I have a Master's Degree in Journalism from Boston University. I have this daily blog that I have pretty much written every weekday for 7 years. Before that, I worked briefly writing in local news and TV. Does that give me the right to call myself a writer? Do I need the pedigree of a paycheck from a news organization or a national magazine to lay claim to that? And if not, can I never claim to be somewhat of a writer? What about all those people out there who extensively journal every day, write short stories or blogs? Are they fraudulent "writers" too?

I'm not sure I understand this whole thing. Who has the right to say who a writer really is? I don't deny that hard work and career accolades are definitely constitute a profession. But does that mitigate someone who puts a pen to paper or a finger to a keyboard.......then hits the publish button?

Death Of A Superstar

News of L'Wren Scott's suicide comes after the 49 year old designer was found yesterday morning in her New York apartment by her assistant. L'Wren Scott, by all reports, was a fashion superstar. Her high end fashion line bearing her name was a red carpet staple amongst A-list celebs like Madonna, Nicole Kidman and Amy Adams. Her love life was A-list too. She was the long time girlfriend of the one and only Mick Jagger. Sources report that the two were very much together at the time of her death and Jagger is said to be "devestated" by the news.

On the surface, everything looked to be as if she was living a dream. A successful fashion house known in celebrity circles, a rock star boyfriend (some would argue the ULTIMATE rock star boyfriend) the perfect picture of success and someone who had achieved rank to the pinnacle of her profession. "Picture" being the operative word. What we now know is that that picture was a facade. Truth be told L'Wren Scott had been plagued with financial woes lately and her company was rumored to be at least $6 Million in debt.

I am touched by her death on so many levels:

• As a woman closer to her age than not
• As a business woman-trying to achieve that "brass ring" in my profession
• As a person who envied her life from the outside looking in

I wonder how deep and dark her personal issues got, to make her take her own life. Loosing face in an industry that she was so well respected had to be devastating, but not uncommon. She certainly was not the first to face financial trouble and unfortunately she won't be the last. The sad truth is the line between success and failure is all to close in many professions. How bad does it have to be? How does one get to that desperate point?  

My thoughts and prayers go out to her loved ones...yet she continues to dominate my thoughts. I'm sorry she felt that desperate and I wonder if something could have been done to prevent her death. I guess we will never know. 

Booty Boogie Bonanza

Hey Blogggers! It's Friday and  Friday's are the day I sometimes like to visit our dear, old friends at Wally World. While I haven't visited them in a while, it never ceases to amaze me what I find when I log on to the peopleofwalmart site. Today's edition seems to have a theme, and Bootylicious would be the sound track!

So away we go!

Oh, Papa! I can't find fault here! I have to give the dude credit. He's got killer legs and a nice svelte figure. I also give him props on his outfit. Dare I say it? The guy has perky boobs too. Add in the fab zebra print purse and this guy just could be the envy of all the silver haired dolls in WalMart.

There is so much going on here, I don't know where to begin. So when you have back fat rolls, is it ok to showcase them in this fashion? And did I say fashion? I am truly mistaken because the 80's called and they want their look back! That is one hell of a display of ripped and torn, shards of clothing. Oh hell girl, no.

While some of you may enjoy this, I say, REALLY? OK the girl has what seems to be a nice ass, and on the beach its totally appropriate. But waltzing into Walmart on a sunny afternoon? I hope the blood pressure machines are working in there.

I have no words....except, working girl?

So our friend here looks to be wearing the newly crafted, plastic "say no to crack" cover. Cover being the operative word, cuz this is doing no covering of crack. Seriously? What the hell is that? I don't get it.

Somebody forgot to feed the cat....

And finally! The Redneck version of the "Whale Tail". Cheap and just distinctive enough to get Uncle Earl to notice!

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to keep it in your pants this weekend.

Save The Drama For Your Mama

So I had some people around me recently that got into an all and out, "I hate that beeyotch" and "She's just a bit*ch!". Drama....

I have been left to choose my words carefully to each of them and be very deliberate about not getting involved. The thing is, I happen to love both of these people and I just happen to be in the unfortunate position of being the common denominator between them. So #1 is pissed at #2 and #2 is pissed at #1 and I'm smack dab in the center of this sh*t storm. Both of them have tried to talk to me on separate occasions about the other one, at which time I have had to ask them to not involve me. And when they continue, I am left to distract myself with my mobile device or Facebook (that's what it's for, right?).

I have my opinions on the issue, but I'm not going to share them with either of them. So get this...the fact that I won't comment on the issue is causing them to throw shade at me??? WTF? I have nothing to do with the issue! It is completely between them and I have nothing to do with it and somehow I've found myself caught in the cross hairs.

Don't make me go all Theresa on you're asses!  And figure the sh*it out and leave me out of it.

Lost

A major airliner disappears?

Both weird and fascinating. What the heck happened? Is it gone? Blown up into vaporized smithereens, or crashed and plunged deep into the sea off the coast of Malaysia? US spy satellites say they have no evidence of a mid air explosion and no wreckage has been found. The US and a host of other countries have joined the search and a few days later? Nothing...Nada..Zilch.

Is this a case of life imitating art? Share your thoughts.

The Healing Power Of Pajamas

I've never been one to lounge around in my pajamas, unless I'm sick. It's like this unwritten code in my mind. I feel lazy if I don't get dressed and ready for the day and I always get dressed at some point, even if I have nothing to do. Since I came back from my recent vacation, my schedule has been non-stop. Yesterday was my first day off in a long time and I planned to enjoy it. It started off great! Frick was home for a quick weekend visit and we woke up early and watched "Frozen" in our pajamas with our morning tea. It was just about as close to perfect as one can get. After I made Frick and Frack breakfast, My Guy, took our girl to the train and I said goodbye to my baby. I started a few household chores and the laundry......all in my pajamas.

As the hours crept closer to the time that I mentally needed to be dressed for the day, I felt a surge of guilt for doing something that was taboo to me. But the need to break with my daily routine and, dare I say it, STAY IN MY PAJAMAS took over. I decided to talk myself into it. Once I made the decision to stay in my pajamas all day, there was no going back.  Nothing was different, really, for a regular Sunday. I cleaned, did laundry, checked my email, etc, but the difference was I stayed in my pajamas while doing so.

Mid afternoon, while reading some emails and finishing up some work stuff, I put down my iPad and we clicked on the TV. I might have even drifted off for a power nap. Why is a nap so much more restorative in your pajamas than your regular clothes? I felt amazing and more relaxed than I had in a very long time.Later that afternoon My Guy and Frack went to the Celtics game and I went to the sofa and I binge watched Bravo. It was quite possibly one of the most perfect days I've had in a long time and I think I owe it all to my pajamas. It's not something I plan to make a habit of, but I will say that once in a while I need to go outside my comfort zone and find a new comfort zone! Today I am full of energy and renewed stamina and I never realized a lazy day spent in my pajamas could have that effect on me. I highly recommend you try it, but like anything, in moderation.

Now I understand completely where the old expression, "the cat's pajamas" comes from. Yeah those cats got it all figured out.

Friday Funny

Sister Sister

My sister is my hero.

She really is. Battling again, 21 years later. This time the fight is much harder but she's a bit older and a bit wiser.
I can't imagine hearing those words from your doctor.
I can't imagine the fear, pain, reality and then the process, but I'm beginning to understand. Now it's the hair...

She took control and got one of those cute, super short hair cuts. I told her how much I loved it! She's in good company.

 But she keeps making jokes about having another brother. The reality is, she has no idea how beautiful she is. It's not just about outer beauty, her inner beauty and strength is inspiring but right now, she just can't see it. I get it. I just wish she could see herself through my eyes.

I worry about her. She worries about me, and everyone else in her family. Can you believe that? She worries more about her family and less about herself. She knows that she will make it through this. We all know she will, and as she navigates through what is now her world I see an amazing woman emerging. That same woman I love so much and call my sister, but a woman who is an example of what can be, a woman of experience and strength.

This too shall pass. And when it does we are going to celebrate at the top of the Eiffel Tower with a bottle of Pink Champagne!

Boston You're My Home

Recently my new favorite TV pastime has been Netflix. My favorite is "House of Cards" starring Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright. Juicy, edgy, evil and down right horrid is the best way to describe Kevin Spacey's "Frank Underwood" character. During the Academy Awards telecast on Sunday, Spacey came out to present an award in character. He began his speech in his best 'Frank Underwood', much to the crowd's delight.

I had mentioned to my BFF that I loved Spacey and the Netflix series and the next day she sent me this:

Cuddles and love to Kevin and Boston! You are much more the man than Frank Underwood could ever be.

My Oscar Notes

The Ellie Fund's Red Carpet Gala last night at Boston's Taj Hotel was a great success! The local glitterati showed up in droves and looked ULTRA glam!  The day started off on a good note. The weather warned of snow, yet again, but held off in the city and the Red Carpet arrivals went off without a hitch. Once the carpet was over, the live and silent auctions took place with local WCVB-TV legend Susan Wornick doing her shtick as the MC. Nobody raises money like Susan!

My Observations:

• Although it was Oscar night, The Ellie Fund-Boston's premier Breast Cancer Crusader-who hosted the event entertained us regally, but never lost sigh of the real reason we were there...to raise awareness, money and fight the good fight. I can't say enough about the dedicated professionals who put together this event and the incredible women I had the pleasure of working with who are the true warriors that have fought and won their battle with breast cancer. Those women continue to pay it forward.

• Watching the Oscars on a wide screen all dressed up in a ball room with 350 people was a trip! 

• Hollywood has nothing on Boston. Some of the ladies in attendance would have been right at home at The Kodak Theater in LA. Boston's top fashion stylists dressed a handful of socialites and local celebs expertly. There were photo booths and a real golden statue available to take pictures with. Chris Cooper loaned the Ellie Fund his 2010 Supporting Actor Oscar for "Adaptation". Of course, I couldn't help myself..
• 

• And after all the glitz and glam and the real Oscar telecast was over, I realized that I had learned something and I love it when that happens! I learned that grace is not about a designer dress, fancy diamonds and Red Carpet photos. True grace is not something you can buy with a hedge fund, or a celebrity stylist and glam squad. In fact, sometimes without inner grace even the most adorned "socialite/celebrity" can look unattractive. Grace and true beauty come from living authentically and having compassion. Living through and experiencing life's challenges give you perspective on what's really important. Overcoming those obstacles with incredible strength and teaching others to do the same is true grace and that is what's really what's golden.