Friday, September 30, 2011

Wacky Wedding Wishes

So I'm really excited Bloggers, cuz this weekend My Boy, my nephew is taking a walk down the aisle with the love of his life! Yup, and he's the first one of my 11 nieces and nephews, so we are gonna par-tay into the wee hours of the night and celebrate.

Having just been at this rodeo myself, I decided to dedicate today's post to the glorious couple and lighten up the mood. Lord knows things can get pretty hectic for the happy couple right about now.

From this point on, whatever happens; happens, and something tells me it couldn't be as bad as this:

I'm not quite sure what to say about them, except that the favors at the wedding were vials of the couple's blood.

Vegas already has odds on the length of this union.

This guy has decided to take matters into his own hands, quite literally.

This is definitely Frick and Frack at the reception. "No mom, I wasn't drinking at all."

Enthusiasm has it's rewards. He's going to be a tiger tonite.

This little guy is just checking for wardrobe malfunctions...

And no matter what, remember that we, your family and parents were young once too.

We would never do anything to embarrass you.

Have a great weekend Bloggers! Dedicate it to your signifigant other, and celebrate.

Congrats to My Boy and his bride!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Scenes From The Life Of A Sports Fan

EXT: Boston living room, in front of TV-Wednesday night, September 28, 2011

This entire exchange takes place via text message between FANNY and DANNY.

While watching RED SOX play in a do or die game, with the RED SOX leading the ORIOLES late in the seventh inning 3-2, the game goes into a rain delay.

7:42 PM EST

FANNY: We have the game on the TV and the iPad on his lap with the Yanks/Tampa game going. This sh*t is crazee..

DANNY: (Danny is in Las Vegas) I'm at work! Can you stand that?

FANNY: Nothing to report except the yanks are up 1-0 top of second. we are scoreless in the top of second.

DANNY: I have game cast but not same. Going to sports book at 5 to watch.

FANNY: I'll keep you posted until then.

8:08 PM EST

FANNY: Texiteriaiaaiaia just hit a grand slam! Yanks 5-0!!

8:25 PM EST




DANNY: I can barely breathe

FANNY: this is NOT fun

DANNY: same score with the yanks

FANNY: yup

9:16 PM EST

FANNY: that was magic

DANNY: What????

FANNY: Lester walks the first two batters of the inning and Scuataro made an unbelievable play for the double play

9:38 PM EST

FANNY: rain delay! do you believe this sh*t??? I can hardly stand that its the 7th. i may KILL myself if i have to wait.

DANNY: unbelievable really, it's like us jews. have to suffer for everything.

FANNY: on Roshoshanna(SP)to boot!

10:04 PM EST

DANNY: Ai did yanks win?

FANNY: Not yet. Yanks tampa 7-2 bottom of 8th

FANNY: Sorry 7-6 bottom of 8th Longoria hit 3 run HR

FANNY: 2outs tying run on base

DANNY:Omg please let the yankees gold on

DANNY: hold

10:47 PM EST

DANNY: Rays tied it up


FANNY: ahhhhh! Noooooooo!

DANNY: nightmare

DANNY: they were one pitch away

FANNY: I'm suckaring someone

DANNY: I'm sick

11:03 PM EST RED SOX game has resumed play

DANNY: every pitch is like a pitchfork to my heart.


11:20 pm EST

FANNY: Papelbon.please be on tonite.

FANNY: Lord.

FANNY: I prominse ill never...

FANNY: if you just see to it...

DANNY: I can barely watch.

DANNY: is pap on?

DANNY: please jesus

12:00 AM EST

FANNY: oh God

FANNY: this is excurciating

DANNY: painful

DANNY: my stomach is in knots

FANNY:Oh please

FANNY: nice


FANNY: take us home now

DANNY:oh no


DANNY: drama always

FANNY: all kkkkkkkk's now


DANNY:I think the rays are in scoring position

DANNY: I can't breathe

FANNY: Dan, i can't do this. I'm DYING

DANNY: I could cry like a baby.

FANNY: OK, lets not die. Just finish the inning now.

DANNY: It's like I'm watching from outside my own body & mind

then Papelbon LOST the RED SOX game.


FANNY: over

FANNY: im sick and I wanna die and I'm going to bed

DANNY: now we need the yanks to win

FANNY: I'm out

FANNY:they don't deserve it

DANNY: collapse of a great team


DANNY: the rays might as well win

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A Unicorn Is Just A Horse With A Horn

Isn't there a song that ends with, "and sure as you're born, the loveliest of all is the unicorn.."?

I seem to remember singing it at some drunken Cape Cod happy hour once a long time ago.

Anyway, in the happy little world of McKinnley High, it would seem that our boy Kurt is confused about who he is. Running for Student Body President and trying out for the lead in the school production of West Side Story is creating problems for the school's first openly gay student. But Brittany has no problems with who she the thinks Kurt is and she offers her help with a campaign platform based on the premise that he is a unicorn. God bless her little pure soul. The writers of Glee and Heather Morris (Brittany), brilliantly make us believe that in her cute, clueless, blond, little head, that's what she truly believes.

But Kurt is much smarter and gayer than that, and he struggles to find his "not gay" place in this race to define who he is. Struggling too, is our self imposed Glee club outcast, Quinn. As the newest member of "The Skanks", Qinn's purple haired, nose ringed rebel is quickly trying to leave her mark as head Skank fast. She has alienated her former Glee club friends and has decided that this is who she really is, even though everyone else sees her obvious cry for help. Of course, Sue Sylvester sees the opportunity in this for her political advancement in her quest to end the arts in public schools. Quinn becomes the subject of a Sue Sylvester "mockumentary" showcasing how Glee club has ruined her life and turned her into a Skank.

Mr Shue throws some cold water on Quinn and Sue's quest when Quinn goes into Shue's office and announces that he and Glee have ruined her life. With Sue filming, he totally calls Quinn out for her selfish behavior and lets her know she's not fooling anyone with this charade, and that she is alienating the only people who have been there for her through all her high school troubles. It was a poignant moment for Shue and Quinn, especially when he pointedly tells her to grow up.

And right when I think this Quinn story line couldn't go anywhere more, Shelby Corcoran, (Idena Menzel) Rachel's birth mother shows up to save the day. But does she? Seemingly all wise, reformed and maternal, Shelby has decided she's coming back to right some of the wrongs she has committed. Hired by Sugar Motta's, rich dad (the chick with Asberger's with the horrid voice), she has been brought in to McKinnley to start a rival show choir to the New Directions. Ok, so I'm not sure how this new show choir thing is going to play out, but Shelby's presence brings more story line drama with Rachel getting a mother who rejected her and Quinn and Puck's illegitimate child they gave up to her for adoption.

The music in this episode is weak at best, but my download pick of the week has got to be the Shelby and Rachel duet from West Side Story, "Somewhere There's A Place For Us." Reading through the obvious tension between a mother and a child she gave up for adoption, this rendition was powerful and moving. Especially when they held hands and sang in unison. Stay tuned for more Rachel/Shelby drama.

With the rest of the Glee club going through "Booty Camp" working on their dance moves, and Rachel focused on securing the lead in the McKinnley production of West Side Story, Finn curiously has become the boob of the Glee club. I'm not sure I'm buying this new blue collar, regular guy image they are trying to stuff down my throat because they just spent three seasons convincing me that he was the romantic lead. I don't like it. Obviously, Rachel and I are in agreement, because she tells Finn that she knows he could be more than the guy who changes tires at Burt's garage. Which brings me to Burt.

The writers and creator's of Glee couldn't have cast a better father for Kurt and somehow he always manages to say EXACTLY the right thing to his son, and steal the show. Kurt, confused by the fact that an overtly gay actor will have a hard time getting leading romantic roles, much less class presidencies, seeks Burt's advice. Burt tells Kurt to embrace his inner unicorn and forge the road ahead for unicorn's like him.

"You're gay and not like Rock Hudson gay," he tells Kurt.

Just when Kurt decides that the unicorn suits him just beautifully, his muse Brittany drops the bomb that she too is running for class president. Against him.

Oh the drama of a theatre Gleek's life and kudos for a much better episode this week.

Now just give me more music.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Good The Bad And The Really Ugly

I'm starting this post off with the Really Ugly and work my way backwards because I want to end this on a high note.

The Really Ugly: It's a good thing I'm not suicidal. Yeah I know, I'm always talking sports smack when my team is winning. Yup, I'm sure I'm righty obnoxious about my Beantown purebred when it comes to game but I'm definitely not feeling it now.

I feel sick. An entire Nation feels sick.

Tied for the Wild Card today and on the verge of TOTAL self destruction. It's just a matter of time. The worst part? I'm more obsessed with them now than when they are winning. There's a tiny little gremlin called optimism that lives in my soul and he can't get off this sinking ship. It's epic, this fail.

The only consolation would be if Jacoby Elsbury wins the MVP. Yeah, that would make it better.

Sort of.

The Bad: Patriots-Bills last Sunday? Not only am I sick, but I'm also mad.WTF was that? This has probably been the WORST couple of weeks in my life as a Boston fan. Who was that at quarterback and what did they do with Brady? Is My Tommy a bitch? Horrid, humiliating, heinous and any other disgusting adjectives I can use to describe the scene in Buffalo on Sunday would be helpful.

Here's the thing, My Tommy's so good when he's good that it's scary. We marvel and pull out terms like, "one of the greatest" and grown men swoon over him like giddy school girls. But when he's bad he's HORRID. He's Hagrid the Horrible and nobody wants to even be near him.

Which makes him like the little girl with the little curl in the nursery rhyme.

Which makes him a little girl. Jus' sayin.

It's just bad. Period. But at least the Pat's have a chance to redeem themselves.

The Good: Like a happy reprieve should be, I was so inspired by your comments on yesterday's Bucket List post. A quite eclectic and supremely unique and passionate bunch, we are, bloggers. I have to tell you that I so enjoyed the responses the subject brought out in you all.

When I decided to actually compose a list, I learned a bit about myself , but I learned so much more about you all in your responses. Funny, eloquent, caring and insightful were your comments and I am so grateful you shared with me. Sometimes blogging is just me talking it out to myself with you all listening. I learned to live for today and enjoy the moment.

As my good friend, the very wise Walking Man said:

"My bucket list consists of two things Go to bed breathing and wake my ass up the same way. Everything in between is an adventure of one kind or another."

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Bucket List

It's funny, I always thought I was too young to have a bucket list. Then this weekend, I had an epiphany of sorts when I realized that I couldn't do something I had always wanted to do. I immediately thought it was something I couldn't cross off my bucket list, and it was then that I decided I have one; a bucket list, that is.

I was in NYC over the weekend and I had always wanted to take a spin around the dance floor of the famed Rainbow Room at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. This would have been the perfect weekend. My Guy and I, in New York City, celebrating our one year anniversary and what better way to cap off the celebration? But we couldn't.

The Rainbow Room closed in 2009 and my dreams of a romantic dance on the storied dance floor where Sinatra, Ellington and other greats performed were killed. Now what am I to do? I just decided that this was a "bucket list" item, and now it may never happen. I've got to hold out hope that someone, some day will restore the Rainbow Room to its former glory and that I am still of sound mind and body to take a spin on the dance floor. Only then,I can cross that one off the list.

Then I got to thinking, if I have this "Bucket List" with one item that won't be going anywhere anytime soon, what else would be on there? Lots of things came to mind, but nothing I could really put down on paper. I thought about a lot of things that I already did, and realized that they might have been items for the list, had I not already done them.

Then it came to me.
And don't laugh, it's my list, remember?

Sometimes I like to listen to big band music on my iPod. I don't have much on my play lists, but when I do hear it, I find myself closing my eyes and keeping with the music; conducting the instruments, I guess you could call it. I think I'd like to conduct an orchestra in front of an audience.

Should I make this a bucket list item? And if I do, how do I go about making the dream a reality? This is all new to me, and I'm all-of-a sudden fascinated with the idea.

Do you have a Bucket List bloggers? And if so, what have you crossed off the list.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Something Tells Me We're Not In Kansas Anymore...

Tom had been in police work for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Most days it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge bearded man is standing there,

"Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00."

"Great," Tom says. "After 6 months out here, I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Cliff is leaving, he stops and says, "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking."

"Not a problem," says Tom. "After twenty five years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops, "More 'n likely gonna be some fighting too."

"Well, I get along with people. I'll be alright," Tom replies. "I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More 'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's not really a problem." says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for 6 months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Super Heavy Subject Matter

I read about this "Dream Team" new band today made up of an eclectic group of performers, some legendary, some not. They call themselves "Super Heavy", and I think they just may be super cool.

For the past two years, Mick Jagger, Joss Stone, Dave Stewart, Damien Marley, and AR Rahman, have been working on a secret album that drops this week. Super Heavy's debut album is said to be a "fusion" of unexpected musical styles from "reggae, to ballads to Indian songs in Urdu". With Jagger being draw enough for me, I'm curious to listen to their sound considering this unique collaboration of these artists.

Said to be Dave Stewart's brainchild, who got the inspiration from listening to different sound systems in his home all at once. He talked to friend Jagger and brain stormed how they could make a fusion of sounds. After six months of making calls, Stone, Marley, Rahman, Stuart and Jagger started banging it out in the studio. Admittedly not knowing "what the hell they were doing at first", Stuart explains that these jam sessions with the artists each contributing something of their own, slowly worked their way into songs.

An All Star Band? An interesting concept at best. But whether or not this new grouping actually touches and inspires fans is another thing completely.

So you be the judge. Check out the website at
And check out their first single, Miracle Worker:

And Jagger still got his moves....

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Seeing Red

Red is a power color.
Evidently Hollywood agrees with me because red was all over the red carpet last Sunday.

This is Martha Plimpton from one of my new favorite shows, "Raising Hope".

Check out Kate Winslet, Lea Michelle, Nina Dobrev, and Kerry Washington in their Emmy finest. These ladies are stunning!

But I think this lady wins the "Best Dressed" honors. Nina Dobrev from "The Vampire Diaries" is flawless in this Donna Karan strapless gown.

Here's Blake Lively, Hayden Penettiere and Debra Messing flaunting their red for the cameras.

But I think Blake takes the prize in that contest. Blake looks effortless in this plunging Versace.

These Holly wood starlets certainly don't disappoint.

But none of them can hold a candle to my "Best Dressed" starlet.

No, we were spot on the red power trend months ago, and I love it when we get it right.

My very own lady in red:

It's no contest. She wins, top honors. Hands down.

Monday, September 19, 2011

I Was Just Thinking..

This is a societal conundrum.

So I'm watching E News the other day and they are teasing this new Joe Jonas video that's super sexy. They keep saying how he's grown all grown up now and "steaming up" the screen in his new video with some unknown girl. E News must have teased the "sexy hot" video about 6 times before they showed Joe in an interview and the video.

During the interview they asked him about the "chemistry" between him and the girl and about his new music. It occurred to me that the media was treating this like rite of passage for one of the Jonas Brothers, giving him a proverbial slap on the back, and actually heralding this new sexy Joe Jonas. So I thought about this for a second.

Not that I'm a fan of either one of them, but it made me think of Miley, and herein lies the conundrum. A few years ago, Miley Cyrus tried to do the same thing but she was lambasted in the media for being over sexualized too young. Granted, Miley was about seventeen at the time, but she quickly became a naughty girl in the media and her reputation took a huge hit. Her family even suffered the consequences of the stress of a negative media spotlight. Now I'm not saying we should have a fundraiser for Miley, but what I am saying is the double standard here is not lost on me.

Last time I checked, Miley Cyrus had millions of adoring little girl fans, and the last time I checked, those millions of adoring fans are also fans of The Jonas Brothers. Why is it OK for Joe Jonas to now come out all sexy and studly, and he is patted on the back, even pimped out and promoted in Hollywood? Joe Jonas is is 22 and Miley is 18. In the past few years Miley has amped things up on the "sexual" scale for sure, but she defends herself saying, “Every 18-year-old explores sexuality and experiments and tries things,” she says. “For me there’s no reason to change that. You have to be true to yourself.”

In the face of the media glare, that wants to paint Miley as a harlot she says, "I stay in the house pretty much every day. I don't go out. I've had the same boyfriend for two years."

Look, Mother Theresa she's not, but I couldn't help but see how wrong it is for Hollywood to glamorize Joe Jonas' jump into sexy waters and at the same time try to drown Miley in hers. It's these same people who made millions of dollars off her bubble gum Hannah Montana image that are now ostracizing her for being too sexy too soon.

I just don't get it. It's as if Joe Jonas has been given the key to the Playboy Mansion and invited into the good old boys club, while Miley was escorted out for doing the exact, same thing.

It's certainly a societal conundrum. Don't you think?

Friday, September 16, 2011

Freakin' Friday

Slow, steady and take deep breaths.

Mid morning already and I'm one fender bender away from a mental breakdown. Not really bloggers, but I'm feeling much like my friend in the picture above right about now.

And it wasn't even me who had the fender bender.

It was minor and thank God, but it was my car. Christ, I need a vacation.

Happy weekend bloggers and DRIVE SAFELY.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Daily Dandy News Flash

Overheard on my treadmill this morning: More housework=More sex

Really? I found this so interesting. So, if I stay home and clean the toilets, I'm gonna get rewarded in the bedroom? No, that can't be right. What if it was reversed? What if My Guy stayed home and cleaned the toilets? Does that mean that he's entitled to an evening of me being his own personal love slave?

According to a new study, the more housework you do, the more sex, you as a couple, are likely to have. Hmm, I needed to investigate this fascinating fact further. The study shows that sharing the household chores actually "promotes friendship and intimacy". Participants said they saw the work in the home as a show of commitment to shared interests and taking pride in their environment. Some believed that actually being alone in a place that you are comfortable and relaxed was conducive to the sexual experience.

The study defined housework as nine chores: cleaning, preparing meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, driving family members around, shopping, yard work, maintaining cars and paying bills. Just a brief glance at those nine chores and I can rate the score for me and My Guy as:

My Guy:4

(And technically, it's only 8 chores for us because one of those chores listed, neither of us do)

OK so, hey! That's sexy. The study also found that most of the participants were highly motivated individuals who tended to prioritize their lives, making sex a priority rather than let the demands of a busy life interfere with intimacy. This study is said to now join a larger body of longitudinal studies that illustrate how housework shapes the dynamics of a marriage. They suggest sharing household chores are the third most important factor in maintaining a healthy marriage; right behind faithfulness and healthy sexual intimacy.

Well I'll be damned.

I can't wait for Saturday. We've got a whole day planned of household chores.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Curious Predicament

Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient: "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient: "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Fashion Frenzy

I am a nut.

Many of you who have been hanging around The Daily Dandy for long enough know this to be fact. You also know that I am a fashion nut. Fashion speaks to my soul, and nothing makes me feel better than the feel of fine fashions against my skin.

But today I am a SMART nut.

Today I made some mean fashion decisions and hit the mother load.

Italian designer, Missoni, (my most very favorite designer) hit Target stores across the country today with low price, fabulous signature zig zag goods designed for the masses. I have been counting the days till this fasionista's dream came true ever since I saw the ad on TV a week ago.

"Shut UP," I found myself saying out loud to no one in particular when I saw it.

Missoni and low price are two words you would almost never see in a sentence together, so imagine my excitement when I learned of this offering. I had my strategy all planned out too. I was going to go right at 8am when the store opened, and I even called last night to confirm the sale. Myself and 10 other women stool outside the huge store this morning, ready to enter. Piece of cake, I thought, this is going to be easy.

You never saw 10 women turn on each other quicker in your life.

It was a fricken free for all. The section where the inexpensive Missoni fashions hung was small, but those 10 women weren't fooling around. Most were grabbing hangers of clothes, 4 and 5 at a time and stuffing them into their carts. I some how managed to grab 3 dresses, a jacket and a skirt for Frick and move on quick. I knew there were shoes.

I got to the shoes just as one woman had about 15 boxes in front of her and she defensively hovered over the boxes. I grabbed my size in the two pairs that I wanted and was herded out of that section by the masses that had moved on from the clothing. Steering my cart over to the housewares section with the intensity of a Brinks truck driver, I then scored some of my favorite items on my menu. I got a two tired appetizer tray, a set of three nesting bowls, two mugs, a candle tray, a serving platter and two bath towels. I almost didn't even know what I was doing. Almost.

The looks on the other shoppers faces as we navigated throughout the store was priceless. I caught a section for men's ties. I had to buy My Guy something. I scored a cute winter scarf, I grabbed a multi colored throw for the house and I found the perfect duvet and shams for my guest room. I was delirious with adrenaline, and I knew I was done. At the check out line the woman in front of me telling me her shopping cart story, was almost pathetic.

"That lady rammed into me with her shopping cart, ON PURPOSE."

I was almost embarrassed to have been a part of it. Almost.

It was exactly 8:34 am when I started my car and pulled out for my departure with the treasures. Thirty four minutes from start to finish. I'm not even going there with how much I spent, but I can tell you that the most expensive item was $79.99.

And I'm a smart shopper who, today, is in zig-zag heaven.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Are You Ready?

Oh yeah....I'm ready.

Time to get back to bizness after a LONG off-season and expectations are high here in Championship City. Local paper headlines today read, "Time Is Ticking", and they refer to My Tommy, who at the ripe age of 34, opens the Patriots season tonite in Miami.

Stats show that in the salary cap era, only 4 quarterbacks over the age of 31 have won a Super Bowl which means that on paper, Tommy may be fighting an uphill battle. But statistics are just numbers and stats and records are meant to be broken. Tommy's made a career out of beating the odds and there's no other NFL quarterback that I can think of that I would want taking the field tonite but Number 12.

Let's hope the offensive line can protect the golden boy, but that may be a little more than wishful thinking and My Tommy's scrambling days are numbered. The experts are saying Miami has the defensive edge and the Pats have the rushing and passing edge, but tonite should give us a clearer picture on the 2011-2012 Patriots season.

7pm kickoff.

I'm ready for some football.

Friday, September 9, 2011

You Know You're A Redneck If...

You showed up at the high school prom by limo.

You relax with friends in your back yard spa.

You can proudly display all the wedding photos.

You carry around your little lap dog.

You just hosted Uncle Earl and the family at the family reunion.

Calamari is one of the foods you eat regularly.

You have your own stool at the local pub.

You're a true fashion visionary.

Happy Weekend Bloggers!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Check This Sh*t Out..

Hey, I am all for love.

Dang, I am probably one of the most mushy, push overs when it comes to being in love and being around love. I also know when I'm being hoodwinked, and something ain't right here.

Meet Doug Hutchison and his 17 year old bride, Courtney Stodden. Yes, that girl just turned 17, and she was 16 when they met and married this past May. Doug, a Hollywood actor, is best known for his role as a creepy and twisted prison guard in The Green Mile. The two met when Doug agreed to give Courtney some acting lessons. It was then they say, that they fell in love. With Courtney's parents giving her their blessing and their parental consent, the two were able to marry legally. She says she found her soul mate and he says he was attracted to her mind. Cmon now.....

The truth? I can't say for sure but their upcoming reality show says a lot about their love. The Internets are all abuzz with Courtney's Tweets, so sexy and salacious, that I'm thinking this girl lives on Ecstasy 24-7.

Please, have at this little GMA interview then let's discuss this in the comments.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Bill Buckner......Superstar?

There was a time long ago when that photo and the words beneath it rang truer than the Liberty Bell.

Today, I'm not so sure anymore.

Believe it or not, Buckner's got his swagger back. Really. It's true. Seemed before 2004, Bill Buckner was doomed to a life of chastisement from The Nation. The Red Sox Nation, that is, and just like the character Ray Finkel in the movie "Ace Ventura Pet Dectective" , Buckner cold have gone down the wrong path into a life of crime. Fortunately for all of us, The Curse was reversed, we won the title, we embarrassed the Evil Empire and then we did it again 3 years later. Suddenly, Buckner's bauble between the legs heard round the world was silent and Billy wasn't such a bad guy after all.

Buckner groomed his manstache, cut his salt and pepper hair and got a job in the game that he had turned his back on. The Brockton Rox, a local minor league team in the CanAm league, hired Buckner in early 2011 as the team manager and he recently coached them into the CanAm League Playoffs (which begin tonite).

Then as the saying goes, "Hollywood came calling". It would now seem that the one thing Bill Buckner lived decades trying to forget, is now the one thing that Bill Buckner can cash in on. Buckner just wrapped up a guest stint as himself on HBO and Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm", and word has it he hit it out of the park.

A mini SPOILER ALERT here: Larry Meets Buckner at a baseball memorabilia convention where he buys a Mookie Wilson ball as a gift for his agent/manager buddy Jeff Greene. The rest of the plot seems pretty self explanatory and pretty hilarious any time Larry David is involved.

"I thought he did really good," Baseball die hard fan Dennis Frawley said of Buckner after he screened the episode at a bar. “He was laughing the whole time and had a big smile on his face, and we gave him a standing ovation at the end.”

A standing ovation for Bill Buckner. In the city of Boston? Imagine that.

I guess we no longer need to imagine it because it's been happening quite a bit lately. In 2009 Buckner returned to America's most beloved ball park, Fenway Park, to toss out the ceremonial first pitch, a job usually reserved for dignitaries, and celebrities alike. It was a poignant moment, one that brought some much needed closure to Buckner and the fans. The local news stations led with the story as their top news of the night. The Fenway Faithful awarded him with a standing ovation that night and even the hardest of men wiped a tear or two from their eyes. The Nation let Billy know he has been forgiven, and that he's still one of our own.

Bill Buckner....Superstar?

Who knew?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Like A Thief In The Night....

I am certainly no stranger to robbery.

Just 8 months after my EX-ASS and I split up many years ago, my home was burglarized. Thieves took every bit of my jewelry and my daughter's jewelry and nothing else. It was so violating and scary, even if it was an inside job, that we were all shaken by it. But that's a blog for another day. Today I mention it because we got hit again, on Sunday night.

It was minor, and thank God for that, but violating nonetheless. Frick's car and My Guy's car, both parked in our driveway, were cleaned out. They only got about 3 bucks in quarters from My Guy, but poor Frick had her iPod Touch stolen, along with her iPod connector for her car. My Guy discovered it on Monday morning when he got into his car to got to Home Depot.

While walking to his car he happened to glance inside Frick's car, parked just beside his. He noticed that the inside of Frick's vehicle looked completely ransacked. He figured it was her looking for something in a teenage fury and had not cleaned up after. That was until he got into his car and realized the same thing had happened to his car, but to a lesser degree.

I felt so bad for Frick. I mean, she was only 10 when our house was robbed, and she was more frightened then about the violation of her security than the loss of her jewelry. This time, she was just pissed off that someone stole something of hers that she cherished. I think she was more upset about the loss of the iPod car connector than anything else, but she had a real uneasy feeling about the thought of people rummaging through her stuff in her car.

And let that be a lesson to all of us. Take nothing for granted. Frick also left the keys to the car inside it that night. The thieves could have taken her car, so it could have been much worse, but it got me to thinking. My mom (who is also one of my neighbors) was telling me that her handy man took her to the front door to show her something disturbing last week. He was working on the outside trim all week and when he went back to check his work around the door, he noticed that the freshly painted area between the door knob and the door latch had been scraped up. It definitely appeared that someone was trying to get in, then he showed her a drop of blood that was dried on the threshold of the door. Sure enough, this could be a tel tale sign of an attempted B&E.

Then last Tuesday, just as I am leaving to go to work, Buddy, my big white boxer, started barking ferociously and caught my attention. As I glanced out I saw a very tall and large man in a suit with a brief case and a woman in a long skirt approaching my door. They weren't at all afraid of ferocious Buddy, which unnerved me right away. Instinctively, I opened the door and went outside with more than an attitude and I might have even been rude.

"How can I help you?" I snapped as I went to grab my dog before he reached them and possibly hurt one of them, leaving me liable for their injuries.

"We are here to talk to you about the Lord," they pleasantly replied.

"Ya. No. My dog doesn't like solicitors and I'm not interested so please leave," I said. It gave me a freaky feeling all day. Stupid, I know, but even though they seemed harmless, the little visit left me feeling uneasy.

And now this.

Let's just hope my thief quota has been filled for good.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Funny

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I Was Just Thinking...

This guy is a pathetic figure.

Jennifer Lopez's estranged husband, Marc Anthony, felt the need to conduct a televised, prime time interview to explain that his marriage "just ran it's course", and that there was no infidelity.
I'm not sure I really believe him or I really care. It's a toss up. The guy is a serial adulterer. He left his pregnant wife for JLo and karma's a bitch. Also, rumors are swirling that he is having an affair with Jada Pinkett Smith. Another home wrecked by the king of salsa.

The guy's got some kahuna's, though, I'll give him that. JLo's publicity machine is cranking out the bad press for Marc Anthony daily so that she comes out of this smelling like a rose and keeps her crown as American Idol's princess. I guess a Nightline ABC News Interview to tell "his side of the story" is a good move. Score Marc Anthony 1 on his side.

I got an email from US Weekly today that read:

Exclusive: Watch Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries Make Out on Honeymoon

I ask you who's the bigger idiot? Them or me? For publicising their honeymoon or me for actually opening the email? Ugh,

I am guilty of being addicted to Gilt Groupe. Daily, I get an email update that informs me of some fabulous sale on some fabulous designer goods that I must look at and buy. Of course, everything is sold at 60-40% off retail prices, so do you blame me? I look at it this way, I could have much worse addictions. One's that could destroy my life with complications and serious illness.

So I like to look good? Is that such a crime?

Did I hear that Elisabetta Canalis, George Clooney's ex-girlfriend is a new cast member of "Dancing With The Stars"? Now I see exactly why George dumped her like a hot potato. Fame seeker, much? George don't play that game. She totally just jumped shark....

Also in the cast: Chaz Bono. I may just have to tune in to check that hot mess out.

Rob Kardashian. Cuz there's not enough of them in the press to keep them relevant.

Nancy Grace: The shark's are circling....She's gonna jump!

Oh Lord.

It's a good thing I'm perfect.